About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
