Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize