It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
