I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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