it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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