i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
