Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
