i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
