Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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