I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
