I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize