2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
