I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
