i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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