i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
