we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
