There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
