woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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