margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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