Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Your cock deserves a montage
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
