Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
