just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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