ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
