She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
