Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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