pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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