She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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