you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize