I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize