I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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