I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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