i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
