By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
