Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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