He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The Olympian is in my bed
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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