Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
