i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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