Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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