my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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