we made out on top of his cat.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
