I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
