Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
