Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just wanna soil my oats bro
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
