...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He has the fingertips of a God
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