OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
