well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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