I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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