Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
now i know why i became what i already was.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
