belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
