You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
