I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
