Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
