Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
