my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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