It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Randomize
