Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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