Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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