I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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