and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
