I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
