The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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