Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
