Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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