im having a threesome with these popsicles
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize