im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize