I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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