Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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