The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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