I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
