Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize