Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
