I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why do cheetos always look like penises
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize