That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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