yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
