I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
